“Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.” —Thomas Sowell
Etiquette is a code of social behaviour and it needs to be followed professionally as well as in your social life. How often do your hear people saying ‘Mr. Smith is a very polite man. In fact, he is a thorough Gentleman’? It is not easy to carry yourself in a polite manner in every situation, but that is what is known as ‘knowing your etiquette and manners’. Manners are very similar to etiquette, but manners are something we learn from the people around us. Holding the fork and a knife the right way or conversing confidently with others might portray your image as a person who knows the rules of etiquette, but along with this knowledge if you have some consideration for others then you are definitely a well- mannered person
The Rules of Social Etiquette
How do we learn etiquette or manners?
To be known as a well-mannered person you really need to have respect for the people around you. Imagine a boss shouting at a colleague in front of other employees in the office. This kind of behaviour on behalf of a senior official shows his manners, as he definitely does not seem to have any respect for the people around him. This art can be learnt by following certain rules that you should understand and practice while interacting with the people around you. We have to learn to follow a certain code of social behavior everywhere. Whether it is your workplace or home or a formal gathering, you should behave at par with certain rules that help you to maintain a strong association with others.
Let’s Understand Some of the Etiquette Rules that Can be Followed in Various Situations
Holding open a door
If you get to the door first, hold it open for those coming immediately after, and especially for those whose hands are otherwise occupied.
In case of a big crowd, go to the door when it’s your turn, and make sure it doesn’t slam on the person coming behind you.
Shaking Hands
It’s your first physical contact with someone, flesh to flesh.
Your handshake is important from the point of view of: How you do it, when you do it, how it feels to someone else.
When do you shake hands
All the time. For instance:
When you run into someone you know
When someone comes to see you in your office, and when he leaves, too.
When you meet someone, you know in a restaurant.
When someone enters your home or when you enter someone else’s home
A Desirable Handshake
A good handshake feels:
Warm and enthusiastic, as if you are glad to meet that person
Firm, strong, representative of a person who makes decisions, takes risks, and above all, takes charge.
Dry, pleasant to the touch
Rules for Handshaking
Make eye contact and shake hands repeating the person’s name in the greeting
If someone is missing a right hand or arm, still offer yours
If you are unable to shake hands say, “I am glad to meet you; I’m sorry I’m not able to shake hands. (An explanation may follow)
Stand when a guest enters your office and when someone greets you in a restaurant.
If you enter a group, shake hands first with your host, and then with the other most senior people in the room.
If someone doesn’t see your hand extended and doesn’t offer his or her hand to you, just draw back your hand and smile.
Getting on and off an Elevator
When entering an elevator with a group enter in the order of your floor destination. If your floor is one of the last, get on first so that you are at the back of the elevator.
Leave the doorway clear for people getting on and off; you may need to leave the elevator and hold the door to facilitate this.
Always hold the elevator door for people coming toward you in the hallway.
Receiving a visitor in your office
When you are the one receiving a Visitor:
Be on time with your appointments – if you care about how people perceive you. Do not keep somebody waiting for too long.
If you do not have a secretary or receptionist to escort your visitor to your office from the elevator lobby or reception area, when you are notified, that visitor has arrived, go to the reception area yourself, greet that person and escort him to your office
If a staff member brings the visitor to your office, stand up, step out from behind your desk and put out your hand to greet that person.
If you are on telephone when your appointment arrives, terminate the conversation immediately and say you’ll call back later to finish the business at hand.
Allow your office visitors to be seated before you are.
Receiving Disrespectful Language
If a male manager wishes to irritate a woman colleague very effectively, all he has to do is address her in a patronizing fashion, like calling her “honey,” “sweetie,” or “darling.”
Disrespectful language is a problem a woman must handle herself. She should not complain to Personnel, like a child running to her mother. She should have a frank private conversation with any male colleague who continually puts her down with his pet names and terms for women.
Parking a Car
When parking a car:
Park evenly between the lines to allow room for other cars.
When parking on a street, be aware of driveways; do not park in front of a driveway.
If there is a room for two cars between driveways, allow room for a second car.
Unless you are disabled do not park in the handicapped parking.
Sitting on an Airplane
No one wants you on board if you:
Board early and stuff the overhead compartment with several suitcases or packages, so other passengers cannot place anything in the bin.
Take up the empty center seat with your own bulky articles, so that the other person cannot put anything of his own in that seat.
Read spread-out newspapers when you are sitting in a crowded three-seat row, so that your arms and elbows completely imprison the people on either side of you., and they can neither move or see in front of them.
Dress improperly
Have smelly feet (mostly during evening flights)
Borrowing Someone’s Car
When you borrow someone’s car:
Do not return it even five minutes later than you said you would.
Return it washed, with the interiors cleaned, litter-free.
Return it with a full tank of gas.
Always return it with a handwritten Thank-You note.
Declining a Date because of No Interest
If you are not interested in a relationship with somebody, say so.
If you have not yet dated that person you may simply say, “No, thank You. I’m not available”.
If the other person indicates he/she is not interested, or is not returning your phone calls, withdraw gracefully.
Going Through a Swinging Door
Regardless of your gender, let your guests- and anyone on staff who ranks considerably higher than you- precede you through the swinging door.
When a group of four or more comes to your offices, precede them, so you can show your guests where to go.
If you know that a door is heavy and difficult, precede any guest you may have with you by saying, “This is a heavy door, I’ll go first and give it a shove.”
If anybody on a wheelchair is approaching a swinging door, hold the door for him so that it opens slowly.
Being Married to Somebody in the Office
If you are married to someone in the office, it is very smart to be cool and not to be seen hugging, kissing, or casting suggesting glances at one another.
Pregnancy and New Parents
It is inappropriate to touch a pregnant woman’s stomach without her permission.
This is a personal / private behavior suitable for the mother- to- Be’s husband and children and no one else.
These are just some of the rules that make your behaviour dignified and respectable in the eyes of others. To create the right image for yourself, you should try to be more polite and try to be more considerate about the feelings of others. Manners are not difficult to learn and with just little more effort and practice you might be able to build the right associations with the people around you.
